Do I have an eating disorder?
Challenges with food and disliking your body can be an intense and persistent struggle, you may even start to wonder, do I have an eating disorder?
I would like to start by saying that if you are even asking the question of “do I have an eating disorder?” even if only in those far recesses of your brain, then you are struggling more than you have to and you could benefit from support regardless of whether or not you have a diagnosable eating disorder.
Because here’s the thing, the stuff of diet culture: labeling foods as good and bad, feeling guilty after you eat a certain food or ‘too much’ of something, wondering what the “right” choice is, feeling like you have to exercise to burn your food off, not eating certain foods because you believe that they are bad for you, ignoring your hunger, fearing weight gain, constantly trying to lose weight, etc. etc. can make your day to day life not as great as it could be and it can be forking exhausting.
And no matter how much diet culture convinces us that it is normal, nay, beneficial to spend this much time thinking about food and your body, it’s far from normal. I would describe it as disordered.
Disordered eating happens on a spectrum with a diagnosed eating disorder being the most intense end of the spectrum. You can fall anywhere on that spectrum and your life may be negatively impacted. Even without a diagnosed eating disorder, you may feel exhausted from following complicated food rules, you may limit social activities because you don’t want to eat in front of others or because figuring out the food stuff feels hard. You may be taking a self esteem hit because you feel like you “know what to do” but you “just can’t stay with it.” You might be constantly searching for or trying the next new diet or plan because maybe this is “the one.” You may hate your body.
All of these things impact your quality of life in the day to day and may affect how you show up (or don’t show up) in bigger ways. If you have ever thought “when I lose weight then….” fill in the blank, then you’ll buy new clothes, go a on a vacation, go to grad school, ask for a promotion, start dating, get out of toxic relationship, take dance classes, start walking, take mime lessons (I mean, whom am I to judge). If you are putting something on hold until you lose weight that you could technically do at any weight, than you are living less now than you could be.
My point, if you haven’t gathered already, is that regardless of whether or not you have a diagnosed eating disorder, your complicated relationship with food and your body can be life taking, and you are worthy of a life free from this complication. But if you are still curious about signs and symptoms of an eating disorder, I have included *some* below and and a resource where you can dive in deeper. I will also add that these are common signs and symptoms that I see my clients struggle with, both who have a diagnosed eating disorder and my clients who do not, but still feel they could have a better relationship with food and body.
Common signs and symptoms of an eating disorder include but are not limited to (please remember not everyone who has an eating disorder experiences all of these):
Weight loss is a primary concern or fear of weight gain
Fear of eating certain foods
Significant restriction of or elimination of food groups (ex: carbs or sugar or dairy)
Preoccupation with food, weight, calories, macros etc.
Frequent dieting
Social isolation or withdrawing from usual activities
Discomfort eating around others
Extreme concern with body shape and size
Body checking frequently in the mirror or checking body for space it takes up
Skipping meals, very small portions, or taking food and making it look like you ate it
“Exercising off” food or exercising to create permission to eat food or certain types of food
Hiding or stealing food
Difficultly concentrating
Dizziness
Sleep problems
Irregular or missing period for those who menstruate
Intense guilt or shame with eating or perceived “over”eating
If you would like to know more about signs and symptoms that you may have an eating disorder, you can check out this list provided by NEDA.
When you look at this list, you may think to yourself, geez, a lot of these signs and symptoms are common in our culture.
And that’s true.
And that’s a problem.
Dieting (and related behaviors) is the number one risk factor for developing an eating disorder. Meaning that dieting is the condition that triggers eating disorders most frequently. It is really important to note, that restricting food in any way to lose weight or even to “be healthy” would constitute a diet. Because dieting is starting to fall out of favor, we are seeing many diets reinvent themselves as not diets but plans such as Whole30 and Noom. But any of these restrictive practices can trigger an eating disorder. This is probably why we are seeing a rise in eating disorders because we are seeing a rise in weight loss attempts.
The good news is that no matter where you fall on this spectrum, food freedom is possible for you. You can eat “normally.” You can enjoy a life where you aren’t thinking about food and your weight all the time. You can feel confident about your food choices and the way you nourish your body. Shoot, you could even like your body one day without having to change it first (I know, you may not be able to conceive that now, but it doesn’t make it less true). If you have decided that you do want to take some steps to improving your relationship with food and your body, I would encourage you to look for a registered dietitian nutritionist who specializes in eating disorders and disordered eating. You can look for descriptors such as Health At Every Size® or HAES® informed, Intuitive Eating informed, weight inclusive, non-diet, anti-diet, and fat positive to describe the way that they practice.
And of course, if you are tired of the food and body fight, eating disorder or otherwise, I want to help. You can click here to learn more about how I or the other dietitians can start helping you make eating healthy a whole lot less complicated!